The past few days have been a bit rough, noting life shattering, but more inconvenient than anything else. I don't know about you, but when someone gets a "lucky break" that doesn't quite need it and is, on top of that, arrogant, that's a red flag for injustice. Sure, I don't like it and I'll do what I can to turn a wrong into a right, but sometimes, it's much better to hold back, save your energy, and think about the war, not the battle.
Life's not fair. Life is what it is and what you make of it. I'm starting to learn that more and more. Sitting here, listening to one of my favorite bands, well, it brings back some memories, good and bad, but important none the less.
I was a few years ago, when I was 18, when it happened. It was something I never thought about, of course. Why would you think about such a thing, before it happened? It's when a novelty suddenly turns into a keepsake but it's a little too late to cherish it. I had a cat, Simba, like the one from the Lion King. He was a big guy. No one could blame him, we treated him well, perhaps a bit too well. It caught up to him one day, as it must with everything, at some point.
He died, right there at my feet. Shaking and nervous, fear in his eyes, you could tell. Hell, I'd be scared too. It was a sudden, freak of nature, type of thing. At least that's what I'd like to think. But I can remember, even back then, when we all have a tendency to know everything, that served as a wake-up call.
I took things for granted. Every relationship I've been in, took it for granted. Even relationships I could have had, gone. Maybe that's why ended not on a glorious high note, but withered and faded.
"Get over it," they say. No man. You can hide from it and try to forget about it but those memories, those experiences, will always be there, with you, with the other people. If you really care about someone, no matter how much they upset you, there will always be a place for them in your life.
I haven't taken many chances. That could be a good thing, a blessing in disguise, but perhaps, it can be a curse in inconspicuous clothing. Although I don't have the track record, or the cynicism to back it up, I'm proud of what I've created so far.
Somethings I've learned:
• There will be no decision that's too hard.
• Live the way you want and let itself work out.
• Just go with the flow and you won't clog the drain.
Be kind enough to check out Radiohead, they're incredible.
Here's are a few of my favorite albums you can check out on Amazon.com.
Sunday, January 31, 2010
Saturday, January 30, 2010
The World is a Weird Place.
We're all brought into this world without warning, without consent, without awareness. We grow up not knowing right from wrong but learning as we go along. This is a the part most people miss. They don't learn.
I'm someone who likes to keep notes, notes of where I'm at, a journal of my experience. And recently I've been looking through some entries. "People don't like me but I don't like many people," is something you might have heard me say. And I'm so glad, so proud of myself to have moved past that.
I was fed up with feeling horrible all the time. I was tired of being angry. Tired of the way the "cold, cold world worked." Although, it's true that some people make some bad choices, their choices are theirs and in the past I would let things that like that effect me. I was a bitter, heartless young man. Like the Grinch, my heart was "born" a few sizes too small.
That was me then, not me now. I've learned that what I get in life, my experiences, my choices, my consequences, and ultimately, my life, is up to me.
It came somewhere in past year or two, a shift, a change, in the right direction. A total and utter shift in perspective. It's difficult, sometimes. Life's difficult, after all none of us make it out alive. But to live with passion, with ignorance on fire, to live as if nothing can stop you, to live with that kind of joy, is something I strive for. I started out crawling toward that idea, frankly because I didn't have the energy or drive to do anything else. Then, I got to my feet and began walking. Now, I'm running full force, like a bat out of hell, like a human rocket, toward my wildest and craziest dreams.
Why?
What else is there? My life, like yours, is individual, unique. I am not going to be someone who blown from this to that with no say in the matter. I am someone who sees what I want and goes after it.
I'm someone who likes to keep notes, notes of where I'm at, a journal of my experience. And recently I've been looking through some entries. "People don't like me but I don't like many people," is something you might have heard me say. And I'm so glad, so proud of myself to have moved past that.
I was fed up with feeling horrible all the time. I was tired of being angry. Tired of the way the "cold, cold world worked." Although, it's true that some people make some bad choices, their choices are theirs and in the past I would let things that like that effect me. I was a bitter, heartless young man. Like the Grinch, my heart was "born" a few sizes too small.
That was me then, not me now. I've learned that what I get in life, my experiences, my choices, my consequences, and ultimately, my life, is up to me.
It came somewhere in past year or two, a shift, a change, in the right direction. A total and utter shift in perspective. It's difficult, sometimes. Life's difficult, after all none of us make it out alive. But to live with passion, with ignorance on fire, to live as if nothing can stop you, to live with that kind of joy, is something I strive for. I started out crawling toward that idea, frankly because I didn't have the energy or drive to do anything else. Then, I got to my feet and began walking. Now, I'm running full force, like a bat out of hell, like a human rocket, toward my wildest and craziest dreams.
Why?
What else is there? My life, like yours, is individual, unique. I am not going to be someone who blown from this to that with no say in the matter. I am someone who sees what I want and goes after it.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
Posts
